Welcome to a new series that entails me blabbing about the things that come up, seemingly every day, that remind me I’m not 22…

#1 - ALL TEENAGERS ARE DISRESPECTFUL

I went to a local skatepark in our neighborhood with my husband and stepson the other day. After making a Starbucks run, (which I’m learning is one of two staples needed in this new world of parenting….the other is wine) I approached the skating area of the park and heard rap music BLASTING. I immediately started nodding my head to the beat, feeling like a super cool and hip stepmom, but as I got closer I began to make out the words to this song. I.WAS.HORRIFIED. Am I wrong or did the music of our day insinuate certain things but not just come out and go into such explicit details about how they wanna F your B? Most of the references I’ve never even heard of, which I’m certain I’m glad about. But I do know that none of it was good. I looked at my husband like, “ugh, can you believe them?” which launched us immediately up onto our high horses with a convo about how we never acted THAT bad as a kid. I’m suuuuurrreee. And on our way out, we watched one of these kids almost skate into an elderly woman walking down a tight path and didn’t even say sorry! So now, I can firmly say that teenagers are the worst, aka I’m hella old.

#2 - I THINK CARRIE BRADSHAW IS VERY EMOTIONALLY INSECURE

I used to watch ‘Sex and the City’ in college and think, I can’t wait until all my friends and I are living in the city, drinking fancy cocktails and dating gorgeous guys!! I’m very proud to say that all those things did actually happened, however now when I decide to pop on an old episode in the background while I’m cleaning or working, I start to really empathize with Mr. Big! I’m watching Carrie over-think her actions, play all these games, and start yelling out loud to nobody “You know, she’s being extremely insecure and really pushy! If I were Big, I wouldn’t want to commit either! Doesn't she know she can’t have a healthy relationship when she communicates like that? It’s obvious she needs to do some work on herself before she should even be thinking about meeting Big’s mother!!

I also got upset at a recent music video by an artist that I love, fighting with her significant other. She was yelling, packing a bag in a hurry, and giving them the finger as she was leaving. No joke, my first thought was “you know, there are a lot of young girls who look up to her and I don’t want them to think that is how you should act in a relationship. I don’t want the kids thinking that’s how they work out problems!

#3 - MY BODY GETS STUCK

When I sit in one position for too long, my body literally gets stuck that way. Despite drinking lots of water and working out on a fairly regular basis, it still hasn't changed the fact that after sitting cross-legged on the couch, I have to mentally prepare for the ache and discomfort of my body simply changing positions! I'm pretty sure that isn't supposed to happen in your 30's. So either the “don't make that face or it will get stuck that way” myth of our youth is true or I’m hella old.

#4 - GREY HAIRS

I have one very persistent grey (does anyone know when it's supposed to be "grey" and when it's supposed to be "gray?") hair that continues to stand proud like a general on my left eyebrow. Almost like he’s looking out at the horizon and saying to his soldiers “C’mon boys! We've got some land to conquer!!” I imagine him with a pipe and a rough voice. Luckily, this is one aspect of getting old that I'm not too afraid of since it will just make my blonde hair look that much more...uhhh..."natural." Hopefully the platinum/silver hair trend will stick around for years and years to come!

These are just some of the many many reasons why I know I'm old now. Stay tuned for many many more in the future...

SG